Abiding

 I always feel the need to put a disclaimer out there that I am a pro at rambling so hopefully you will follow me and not get too confused during this post :)

I really thought I would be better at this blogging thing, and I firmly believe that I WILL be better once we have internet at home. Although, the internet does comes in handy and it DOES get annoying sometimes to not have it...or cable for that matter...I am WAY more productive with my time while home. Who knew I spent so much on the computer and watching TV? A little disturbing now that I've taken a step back from it..which has led me to be convicted over how much time I use to NOT dwell and rest in the Lord when I need a break from life. I mean seriously it doesn't even make sense...TV to be rejuvenated or the giver of rest and peace...the only one  who can truly satisfy and feed my soul. Oh, how Satan loves to deceive. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that all you TV-watching, internet feeding people out there are terrible each time you turn your TV on or get on your computer. This is about how I, Lana Kates, was, am- using the wrong things to be rejuvenated.

Last week there was a woman's event at my church called "Loving Well" and for me to describe what the Lord taught me and is teaching me would probably take a week for you to read. The main point though was abiding in God's love. Knowing...not a knowledge OF...but KNOWING His love. Staying in His love. Believing that he loves me..and you...because that's what he does! Not because of who I am, what I do or will do or what other people say about or think about me...the list could go on...but simply because he IS love. It truly has pierced my soul and transformed my way of thinking and living. Part of it was a realization that I have many fears in my life and I was reminded at this event that fear is the OPPOSITE of love. If God is love then in these fears of mine... I am not believing who God says he is. I am not abiding in His love but instead abiding in the opposite which are my fears. I mean seriously-why would I want to abide in my fears? Talk about stressful. I am not believing that the God who saved me, the God who created the heavens and the earth, the God who calms the seas..the list could on forever....loves me when things go bad or worse, COULD go bad...because I CHOOSE to let fear overtake me. I in an instant let my flesh win the battle and let fear overcome me INSTEAD of choosing to ABIDE in the Lord's love, ABIDE in His truth, ABIDE IN WHO HE SAYS HE IS.

 I have a choice... the first is to believe the Lord has a plan and remember that it is not my story to tell but that I am a part of HIS story whether I understand it or not. It is for His glory...not my own. OR the second is I can live in fear, discontentment and self pity. I have a feeling that this will be a daily battle and learning point for all of my days. Sure-there are things and will be things that have not gone the way I foresaw them happening and to an embarrassing amount I have chosen the latter way of thinking but I pray that my heart and mind will be transformed to where I am SO abiding in Him and his love for me that no matter what happens...I will just rest in my sweet Jesus.